


Dick Grayson and Adoption Problems

by Kuroaki



Series: take my hand and i will help your heart mend [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce is kinda dead, Dick Grayson adopts everyone, Dick Grayson but with Bruce Wayne’s adopting issues, Dick Grayson can swordfight, Dick Grayson is basically everyones parent, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick has many morally ambiguous precious people, Fluff and Crack, Fluff without Plot, Not even the author knows, Oops, Or is he alive, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Short Chapters, The Author Regrets Everything, Weird Plot Shit, What Have I Done, and nothing, he also has a lot of moms, here, hm, if you couldn’t tell yet, oh yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29462190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroaki/pseuds/Kuroaki
Summary: In which his morally ambiguous moms keep bringing him lost children and making him adopt them, the few times his adoptees make him adopt even more, and the one time he adopted one by himself because—habit
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Burgers, no particular slash
Series: take my hand and i will help your heart mend [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167428
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	1. Selina and the first stray

Nightwing stares at Catwoman who stares back at him. 

“What the fuck Cat?”

In her hand was a whole angry, petulant looking child hanging by the collar of his shirt.

“Here you go,” Catwoman says, dropping the kid in front of him. “Don’t forget to feed him!”

“Catwoman—!” Nightwing let out a choked shout.

She ignored him, opting to hop to the rooftop over, calling back a, “You owe me Nightwing!”

“SHOULDN’T IT BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND?!” He screeched after her, only earning himself a cackle of laughter.

He looks back at the kid who’s glaring at him.

“So... wanna grab a burger?” He asks awkwardly.


	2. Poison Ivy takes over Gotham Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka “No Ivy, I’m not taking the strays in” *proceeds to adopt given stray”

“Nightwing,” Poison Ivy greets him.

“Ivy,” he smiles cheerfully. “Any reason why you’ve decided to take over Gotham’s Park?”

“Yes, actually,” Poison Ivy says, pushing forward a young scrawny kid. “I heard you take in strays.”

Nightwing lets out a mutter that sounded suspiciously like, “Fucking hell, Selina.”

“No, I’m really not taking in any strays,” Nightwing deadpans.

“Well, you are now,” Poison Ivy dismissed and Nightwing gapes at her as she pushes the hesitant boy to him. 

“Ivy, you can’t just—“ Nightwing was cut off by Poison Ivy disappearing via plants.

He stares at the kid. The kid looks away nervously.

“Um,” the boy says as he fidgets. 

Nightwing sighs, “Want a burger?”


	3. Harley Quinn has a present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka Harley Quinn boards The Train Of Seeing How Many Children Dick Grayson Can Adopt

“Nightwing! Come out come out wherever you are!” The woman called between laughter as she spun around in the middle of the street.

“Harley.” A shadow fell across the street lamp lit road.

“Nightwing!” Harley Quinn stopped and waved, a genuine giddy smile stretching across her lips. “I’ve got a present for ya.”

“Present?” Nightwing cocked his head.

“Yeah!” Harley nodded enthusiastically. “You can come out now,” she calls a small figure over.

Nightwing stares at the child emerging. 

“Meet ya new kid!” 

Nightwing stares at Harley, who’s smiling brightly as though she just solved a million problems at once.

“Harley, and I ask this as nicely as possible, what the actual fuck.”

“Well, Pam and Sel said you were takin’ in strays so,” Harley shrugs. 

“I already have two kids because of you three, and you want me to take another?” Nightwing asks exasperatedly.

“Yes. What else do ya think I’m sayin’?”

“I— Harley,” a pained expression crosses his face, “I can’t just adopt every kid you guys throw at me— heck, _the last one already had parents_!”

“Sure ya can,” Harley says cheerfully.

“Um, actually, I already kinda have parents,” the kid nervously says.

“See?” Nightwing cried out.

“But my dad’s kinda a supervillain who’s a fuckin’ bastard and my mum has to do deal with his shit so,” the girl finishes with a shrug and Nightwing visibly deflates.

“There ya go,” Harley beams, patting the girl on the back.

“Fuck this, fuck you, fuck my life!” Nightwing cries out, throwing his arms up in exasperation. 

The girl shifts, making a move to leave, but then suddenly Nightwing’s right in front of her looking dead serious while Harley skips away down the street, whistling to herself.

“Come have a burger with me.”


	4. League of Assassins David Cain Edition fighting style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dick Grayson gets pickpocketed and then forced into a fight with a bunch of assassins god knows where. 
> 
> But then again, his tip-source was Lady Shiva so joke’s on him.
> 
> Also, fun fact: Burgers can survive assassin-vigilante fights.

Curse Lady Shiva. 

He grunts as rolls with the force of the punch, retaliating with a flurry of attacks.

Curse David Cain. 

He bends under a swiping blade as though he was in some sort of action movie, watching the gleaming metal pass over him.

Curse his own curiosity.

Fighting a bunch of assassins was not on his to do list. In fact, it was horribly far from what he wanted to do while he was at this town. 

Why did he even follow her tip again?

One moment he was taking a nice stroll, the next he bumped into a girl who looked to be in a hurry who also on the way pickpocketed him, proceeded to follow the girl to the town’s outskirts, and then, bam. Assassins. 

Assassins from the League of Assassins, to be more specific—he’d know that fighting style anywhere.

Panting as he drops the last assassin, he turns to the said girl who stands over her own—alive—assassin. They stare at each other, the girl in a League of Assassin’s David Cain Edition fighting stance, and him wary with the sword he nicked from a few assassins ago. 

They stare at each other, both unmoving. 

Ever so slowly, Dick lowers himself into crouch, placing the sword down, before slowly rising again, his hands up in the universal sign of peace.

If she wasn’t about to attack him, she wasn’t about to attack him.

(There’s a voice in the back of his head—maybe Jason?—telling him that he’s an idiot. Yeah, probably Jason then.)

The girl continues to stare, before finally relaxing her stance and glancing down at the delicate package he held in his hand.

He follows her gaze, before holding up the glorious package that somehow miraculously survived the fight between him and a group of assassins, raising a brow. 

“You want a burger?”


End file.
